School Jokes
Here are some corny school war jokes in the Philippines.
A lizard fell on top of a table
UP: oh, Reptila scincidae!
Ateneo: eew lizard!
UST: puta! butiki!
DLSU: yuk! lacoste!
San Beda: tsk! tsk! tsk! tsk!
AMA: pare ulam!
Coffee ng mga students
UA&P/Assumption: Figaro
DLSU: Starbucks
Ateneo: Coffee Beanery
San Beda: Seattle’s Best
UP: Coffee Experience
LETRAN: 3 in 1 Great Taste Coffee
AMA: Kopiko at 1 basong tubig
Bracelet ng mga students
College of St. Benilde: tennis bracelet
UA&P: tiffany
DLSU: Philip C.
UST: silverworks
UP: friendship bands
AMA: rubber band
After school hirits
Ateneo: wanna hitch?
DLSU: where are you parked?
Assumption: Gosh, my driver is so tagal.
San Beda: convoy tayo!
UP: mama, bayad ko.
Bra ng mga students
Ateneo: valentino
DLSU: ck
UA&P: victoria's secret
UST: triumph
UP: avon
PUP: sando nila nung grade one pa sila
AMA: panyo na tinuping parang bra!
Underwear ng mga students
Ateneo: marks and spencer
UP: hanes
DLSU: victoria's secret
Assumption: hindi na uso yon!
Pag nabaha
Ateneo: yuck, dirty!
La salle: good thing i brought my car.
San Beda: traffic na naman! Stranded!
UST: eeeey! may palaka!
UP: what if i get wet!?
AMA: tara! swimming tayo!
Deodorant
Ateneo: secret
La salle: sure
San Beda: old spice
UST: rexona
UP: babes
NU: splash deowhitener
PUP: tawas
AMA: dinidikdik na stork, sing lamig pero di sing mahal
Multivitamins
UA&P: Pharmaton
Ateneo: Rogin-e
La Salle: Centrum
San Beda: Herbal
UST: Clusivol
AMA: Star Rice
Reaction of students to BMW
Ateneo: may dad has one like that.
DLSU: Dad buy me naman that!
San Beda: wow, dad, cool car!
UP: Dad, that is not worth buying.
AMA: itay pakodak tayo sa tabi!!!
Flowers
Ateneo: long-stemmed roses
La Salle: tulips
San Beda: 2 dozens of red roses
UST: carnation
UP: sampaguita
PUP: gumamela
AMA: paper roses
Iniinom ng mga students sa bar
LaSalle: mule
Ateneo: subzero
CRC: heineken
San Beda: miller
UP: super dry
UST: pale pilsen
FEU: blue ice
CEU: tanduay
AMA: zesto
After class
La Salle: tambay, punta sa kotse
CRC: punta mall, coffee break
ATENEO: tambay, review notes
San Beda: tambay, mall
ASSUMPTION: punta quad, pa cute cute
AMA: uwi agad, abang Esperanza
Problematic kids
La Salle: "FUCK! Walang parking!"
Ateneo: "FUCK! Traffic sa Katips!"
CRC: "FUCK! Walang signal!"
UP: "FUCK! Walang jeep!"
San Beda: "FUCK! Walang food!"
CSB: "FUCK! Walang pinasa!"
ASSUMPTION: "FUCK! Walang boys!"
Campus condoms
Benilde: Mucks
La Salle: Durex
San Beda: Ever Lasting
Ateneo: Long Silver
CRC: Zoom
UP: Trust
UST: Ice candy bag
Lunch ng mga sosy
La Salle: Manila Hotel
ATENEO: Katips
ASSUMPTION: Friday's Makati
CRC: California Pizza Kitchen
San Beda: kung san masarap!
UP: Foodcourt
UST: may sosy ba dun?
Campus chicken
ATENEO: KFC
La Salle: Max's
UA&P: Kenny Roger's
UST: Chicken Joy
UP: Mc Chicken (singles)
SAN BEDA: Andok's (Good for 10 ppl)
ASSUMPTION: Tusok-tusok the isaw!
Mura ng mga school
ATENEO: "tang ina pare, fuck!"
La Salle: "fuck pare!"
ASSUMPTION: "How fuck naman your mom!"
CRC: "fuck man!"
San Beda: "taena!"
UP: "you pakeeng sheet!"
UST: "Pak you ka! Pak you!"
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